I’m hungry!
I want to watch TV!
I want to go home!
I want that toy…NOW!!
It’s tough for kids to be patient, and it’s tough to teach them patience.
Ask yourself: Is patience in your child’s nature? The answer may be in your behaviour! Take a long, hard look at yourself and your partner. Are you both patient, or not? The answer to that question will go a long way to understanding the expectations you are making on your child.
Here are some practical ways to help your child to wait………………and be patient.
Measure the waiting time. Count down: “How many seconds? let’s count…”. “How many minutes until (That thing happens) let’s check the clock.
Listen to what’s really going on. Is there an underlying cause? Is your little one tired, hungry, sibling rivalry, over excited, bored?
Get down to their level, giving instructions from above will only achieve short term results with some children. Bend down, look them in the eye and take a clear moment to:
Understand and Empathise. Get your heart in the game. “I know you want it now, but…”. “I understand why you want it now…” “I would love to give it to you now…”
Be True. Give realistic, practical truthful reasons why the child needs to wait. Honest answers will make sure you don’t trip yourself up later…Kids are clever like that. Ask yourself truly why they must wait? It’s not ready, it takes time, I am busy with other things. Tell them the real reason, kids can be very understanding…
Show or demonstrate why. Take a look at what I am doing, I’m trying my best to accommodate you and give you what you want. “First I need to do this or that to give you what you want”.
Choice. Offer an alternative or something to suffice in the meantime. If you can offer a choice, all the better so they feel they have some influence over the situation. Would you like a snack whilst you wait to watch TV/ play a game?
Empower. Make them master of their own destiny. ”You can help me make your own wish come true. Hop up here and help make dinner, set the table, feed your sister, pack the bag. Then you’ll get what you want quicker!”
Deflect attention elsewhere.
“Look at what your sister/ is doing!”
“Look, the doggy next door is digging!”
Some young children will find it impossible to wait, so distraction and speed is key.
And finally, always be prepared to say ‘no’. ‘No’ may sometimes be the right answer, and often times, ‘no’ can be much kinder than ‘yes’, for both you and your little one.
Sara is British and has a Law Degree from there. She studied her MBA in the Netherlands and worked as a banker for five years. She made her ‘biggest career move’ when she became a mother and trailing spouse. Experiencing parenthood in various countries, circumstances and cultures including Prague for the last 2 years, Sara loves to analyse and learn how to make family life the best it can be.