The innumerable images, videos and news reports are not hidden from children. As parents, our primary thought would be to keep our kids away from the violence that’s posted all over social media and television. But it’s better to speak to your child about it, rather than ignoring the subject altogether.
What can we talk, or say? Here are some thoughts:
Let the child lead
First ask the child if he knows about what’s happening in Ukraine. Chances are he will tell you a lot more that you expect him to know. Acknowledge what he knows and tell him that sometimes in life there are difficult situations and that we have to be strong through tough times.
Be his security factor
Don’t offer further information or show gory images/ videos to explain the situation. Instead focus on the good things. Talk about what we are all doing to send food and healthcare to refugees.
Be neutral
If he asks you questions, don’t stop him. Instead, listen patiently and try to answer them to the best of your ability. If you don’t know what to say, just tell him that. If you do give any information, make sure that your opinion in neutral. Don’t classify a certain country as good or bad. It’s important that kids understand that there are children in Russia and Ukraine as well, just like them.
Focus on actions rather than people
If you must talk about things, make sure you speak about ‘wrong actions’ rather than ‘bad people’. Explain that a conflict takes a lot of lives and this is not good.
Mind yourself
Children can be fully tuned to parents’ reactions. So even though you may have an opinion, don’t discuss it around the children. Don’t take sides in front of kids. Your child may have a Russian or Ukrainian friend at school, who is also a child. It’s best if children are neutral.
Calm their fears
Children can have a lot of worries about the conflict, make sure you speak to them about it and calm their fears. Ask what worries them about the conflict and try to sort their anxiety.