As parents we are watchdogs for our kids. We teach them pretty much everything from skills, to hygiene habits, social skills, languages and ways to be safe. The one topic, which parents usually put off from discussing with kids is sexual abuse. And it is not because it is an uncomfortable topic, but because parents feel that their kids are too young to discuss it.
According to the UN and academic research one in three girls and one in seven boys in the Czech Republic have reported instances of sexual abuse.
Parents usually can’t imagine that this can happen to their kids. But the fact remains that there is no fool-proof prevention method for child abuse. If your child goes on playdates, stays with another adult, goes to school or day-care or for a hobby class, they can all be exposed to this. Often the offenders are usually the people who children already know, another parent, sometimes their own parent or another child they play with. The best way you can equip your child is to talk to them about it so they know what is ok and what is not. There is no specific age to speak to kids about abuse, but sooner the better.
Here are some tips to help you talk to your child and prep them for any unforeseen situation.
Speak to your child about their body parts. Teach them the names correctly. Feeling confident about using these names will help them tell you clearly if something unbecoming happens.
Tell your child that some body parts are private and nobody should be allowed to see them or touch them. They can only be completely naked with their parents or with doctors, but in the presence of their parents. No one should be allowed to take photos of their body parts. Also be very clear that kids should not touch anybody else’s body parts even if another adult or child asks them to do so.
Teach your child that there are no secrets about their body with you. If anyone tells them to keep a secret about touching someone unbecomingly, they should report it to you immediately. And they won’t get into trouble for doing so.
Speak to your child about how some body touches may ‘feel good’ or ‘not hurt’ but are inappropriate.
Teach them how to get out of difficult or uncomfortable situations. If they feel something is not going right, even with the slightest element of doubt, ask them to excuse themselves out of the room with an excuse. ‘I want to go potty so I need to leave.’ Teach them a code word that they can use in front of guests or on a call with you during a playdate. ‘Hello mummy, can I get the red candy tonight before brushing my teeth?’ Red candy is your code for ‘please pick me up’ or ‘I want to speak to you alone’.
Czechia: Linka Bezpečí
Linka Bezpečí is for children and students under the age of 25 who have issues or worries that they cannot or cannot handle on their own. Children and young people can turn to the Safety Line for help and advice by phone, chat or e-mail.