A positive self esteem comes from a reasonable understanding of the real accomplishments that have been achieved, resulting in a positive self evaluation. Kids need to know that they achieved goals that challenged them, and that you recognize that.
On the other hand, too much praise for simple accomplishments can develop destructive high self-esteem leading to over-inflated opinions of accomplishments or a sense of singular entitlement. A specific world leader might come to mind.
Self-esteem starts to take form in early childhood when a child is surrounded by their parents love and care almost exclusively. Parents that build a positive environment have a major influence on building positive self-esteem in their children.
And now for some great suggestions of what you should do!
1. Yes to encouragement
Encourage your child to achieve goals and congratulate them when they do. If they fall short, credit them with the attempt and try again. Goal setting and participation with your child can do wonders to build a positive and reasonable view of accomplishments
2. Remember what they’ve accomplished, they certainly will!
Reference past goals achieved to help accomplish new goals Show your little go-getter that each goal was once thought impossible until effort, practice and dedication brought an accomplishment. Nothing is for free, you gotta work at it!
3. Give them some grown-up tasks
Ask your child to help in some easy grownup tasks. Clearing dished from the table, vacuuming a room and other chores all give a sense of accomplishment and responsibility. But understand, you’re going to have a few broken dishes, and a more than a few hours long vacuuming jobs in your future…
4. Help them face their failures
Overcome first failures together while learning from them! At times, you may have to turn away from being the helping hand so that they accomplish the goal by themselves. If they don’t ‘really’ need help, then let them go and see how far they can get! Yeah, it’s cringe-worthy sometimes, but that’s life, man!
5. Share your interests and let them share theirs
Encourage hobbies and share in your kid’s interests. Show them you believe in their work, the results and their effort. Pick up something they like to do, like drawing spaceships or collecting buttons or whatever, and start doing it! They’ll be SO proud!
Most of all, let your child enjoy their childhood. You can help steer them into becoming people you will admire for the rest of your lives, but their childhood is their own, make sure they have a chance to enjoy it!
Love rules the day, every day