Just like the word suggests, ‘Conscious Parenting’ really means looking into your inner self as a parent and fixing things within you first. This interesting concept is much talked about and followed by many parents today. But what does it really mean in everyday life? And what do we stand to gain or lose by following this parenting style?
What is conscious parenting?
Instead of focusing on the child, reprimanding them, correcting them or teaching them, conscious parenting focuses on the parent. It involves taking a look at our own behaviour as parents and trying to fix things inside us, to be mindful and calm in our lifestyle. As a result, our kids reflect our behaviour and are mindful little young ones. They way we learn to del with our issues is the way our kids learn to deal with theirs. A conscious parent is one self-aware, thoughtful and connected to their child and to themselves.
Parents listen to their children and try to understand their child’s point of view. They are empathetic and support their child, but they let the child to deal with their things themselves. They communicate their thoughts as an opinion, without imposing and thus building a better bond.
Benefits of conscious parenting
Better communication: As this this style of parenting involves listening patiently and only offering suggestions, children are encouraged to think for themselves and make decisions. Many times children communicate their fears or thoughts better as it is an open discussion peer-to-peer instead of a top-to-down advice.
Mutual respect: Since conscious parenting encourages easy and open two-way communication between parents and children, the entire relationship is built on mutual respect and respect for each other’s opinions. Eg. If a mum tells her child to be quiet as she is working on an important project, the child may continue making noise or get upset by what the mum said. Instead, if the mum explains to the child (till the child fully understands and is involved) that the noise is making it difficult to work without making mistakes, the child may actually be on your side and be quiet and helpful! Of course, it also implies that the mum lets the child have some fun after her work is done! So you mutually respect each other’s space and freedom.
Working towards the big picture: Instead of solving a problem in the moment, why not think about the underlying issue? Each time the child throws a tantrum in the toy store, parents need not buy a toy. Instead, it would be a great idea to talk about the affordability of toys, what happens to them after they are used, the plastic problem in the world and how toys contribute to it, and more. Alternatively, you can prep the child before going to the toy store – “We are buying a present for your friend’s birthday. And you can pick a toy for her and draw a nice card to go with it. When it’s your birthday you will get presents too!”
Disadvantages of conscious parenting
Time consuming: This type of parenting style can take a lot of time for parents to keep pace with, as it takes time for parents to mature in their role and in turn the vibes are passed on to the kids. It involves the parents thinking, reflecting and trying to even change their lifestyles or character in order to create a better environment in their homes.
Tough on kids
Conscious parenting involves a lot of trial and error by parents and kids. Kids have to learn to make decisions, then realize their mistakes, and then learn from them. And this can lead to a lot of frustration between the whole family. And parents in reality are fighting their urge to help. So, it can be quite a struggle to implement it.
Freedom is not fun
It’s actually quite easy for parents to tell kids what to do, and for kids to follow it to the T. But to relax this rule, is really hard. When kids are not controlled, there is a lot more unpredictability around the house. And parents have to learn to deal with extreme surprises. And this can take a toll on the parent’s emotional health.
There is no one parenting style that is perfect. So its good to keep reading and discussing things with other parents or parenting groups. If you have any thoughts on Conscious Parenting, do write in to us on editor@littlepanda.cz