We’ve all seen kids in their best and many times at their worst – tempers, tantrums, yelling, demanding, crying and more. A child goes through a lot of challenging emotions through their growing years. And often, they don’t know what to do with their feelings – jealousy, envy, sadness, anger, being left out, lonely or more. Here’s how we can help them.
Teach them to work with their feelings. When a child is going through some feelings, speak to them about it and teach them how to deal with it. For instance, if they’re angry that someone else was chosen for the play instead of them, first ask them to take a deep breath. Then ask them why do they think the other child should not have been chosen and why they should have been chosen instead? Often times, when kids relax and think through things, they are able to sort out their feeling and emotions. Make sure they know that it’s to feel the way they are feeling but they just need to know how to work through this feeling.
Help them take responsibility for their actions. As a parent, always behave in a way that your child can emulate. If your child is unable to say sorry, show they how you apologize and then they will follow suit. It’s important that a child understands that they need to take responsibility for their actions. And apologizing teaches kids that it’s not necessary to be perfect and in case you do make mistakes, it’s best to apologise and clear the air.
Tell them that their emotions matter. It’s important that a child doesn’t feel guilty for their emotions. It’s ok to experience all the emotions but they just need to know how to deal with them in a proper way. For instance, yelling, kicking and crying won’t solve a problem. Talking, asking and apologizing will work better. This also teaches then that they will not always get what they want and that they should look for alternative solutions to deal with the problem instead of kicking up a fuss.
Create a safe place for them to express themselves. Children need to feel free to express themselves. Suppressing their feelings is not good for growing children. Create a calm corner at home where they can sit, relax and think through the day’s happenings. Or teach them how to write about their feelings in their book. Any activity that’s easy for them to express themselves is good – like drawing, coloring, taking a walk or just reading.