I’m sure I’m not the only one who considered for a moment, that this could be just another ridiculously elaborate prank. I’ll be confronted by a cameraman and a presenter laughing at footage of me washing a tap before I use it and wearing a mask to put out the bin. The whole thing will be a massive hit on Netflix when they make it into a reality show documentary.
We are quite literally forced together during this period. We are either working from home together, homeschooling or spend more evenings together because there are no work drinks/dinners or gyms to go to. The house is filled with ‘sssshhhhhh!’ Constant video calls and crossing our fingers the Wi-Fi does not let us down or we might actually need to talk to each other!
I never realized how much I hated the school run. There’s definitely an extra bit of a lie-in, compared to the usual school day. Encouraging the kids up to get ready for ‘virtual school’ and homeschooling is not easy because we are not going to miss the school bus or get a late mark if we don’t hurry. I consider making a start with the school task in my pyjamas. What’s the point in rushing to get dressed? Can I just wear my pyjamas the whole time? My family have seen them before and I’m not going out? No, I’d better get properly dressed just in case I get caught on the kid’s school video call.
Home educating is great if you are Mother Earth with copious amounts of patience and ‘perfect’ kids but for us normal mothers it has moments of hell. ‘Please, please listen,’ ‘who’s got the iPad?’ ‘ssshhhh, I’m on a video call’ Why didn’t the teachers tell me my child had a massive concentration problem and more energy than an Olympian?
When I finally can’t stand it at home any more, I decide to go to the supermarket for a bit of ‘light relief’ but then I find, it’s much busier and there’s a weird suspicious atmosphere. Should I put on a bit of make-up so I don’t scare the locals? What’s the point, you can’t see it under my sodding mask! I need to stop panicking when I see two men with masks hanging around outside the shop. Shopping takes a lot longer because opening a plastic bag for the fruit and vegetable with plastic gloves takes at least 5 minutes. Can we really buy the unpackaged bread? Can you wash a bread roll if you are really careful? Everyone has got to admit to throwing in an extra few packets of pasta, rice and of course don’t forget the toilet roll. Most of us are stockpiling only because others are stockpiling it’s getting crazy. Who sparked the toilet roll frenzy anyway? Mr Andrex or Mr Charmin?
I’m home, but the kids are laughing at me because my mask is bobbing around on top of my head. I either can’t find it or I forget to take it off. When we stop wearing these masks will we be a nation of elves with sticking out ears? I’m not sure I can breathe in mine, it’s got so many layers it’s suffocating me, which problem is better to die of? I need to wash my hands and stop berating myself for touching my own face and calculating how many things I touched when I was in the supermarket.
Do children ever stop eating? I’m constantly cooking and becoming best friends with the dishwasher. How many interesting lunches and snacks can I dream up? Midafternoon when they get tired and bored you can’t believe you have another 5-6 hours to go! No one is listening and my threats are getting a bit too wicked so it’s time for the mandatory glass of wine to chill me out a bit, it works and everyone settles down to a bit of the good old television. Time to see if anyone has posted any good meme’s or lockdown jokes on Facebook to see me through. The peace doesn’t last because no one can agree on a programme, so the threats begin again and you’re back to square one but you are a little drowsy from the wine and it’s 5 minutes closer to bedtime……
Article contributed by Sara T Henry.
Sara is British and has a Law Degree from there. She studied her MBA in the Netherlands and worked as a banker for five years. She made her ‘biggest career move’ when she became a mother and trailing spouse. Experiencing parenthood in various countries, circumstances and cultures including Prague for the last 2 years, Sara loves to analyze and learn how to make family life the best it can be.